Wow. I didn't think I'd ever breathe this sigh of relief in time. It feels quite strange to just be sitting around twiddling my thumbs, waiting to leave for New York again. As usual, at the last minute inspiration came to bombard me and I was able to pull through and meet my deadline. Year of the X is complete, and I couldn't be anymore overwhelmed. Tomorrow is the final (literally this time, this is the last time I'll revise it) before it goes to print. During an interview with The Paris Review, Jonathan Franzen mentioned "the writer's life is a life of revisions", and the number of annotations and sticky notes over the individual documents are an attestation to this. Just thinking about something that I've made rolling on a printing press somewhere is crazy. I can't compare the buzz I'm getting off of this to anything besides when I made that chapbook last year, but probably times a million.

I don't know if this is going to work. I'm actively trying to not think about it, which ends up being a catch-22 (have you read that book? I couldn't get further than about fifty pages) really. I might have broken some copyright laws, but I'm hoping whichever company I'd possibly offend will realize it's completely not worth it to sue me. I've received so much help (hey Eboni!) and encouragement from so many people around me, that I feel a little bad to be shocked. If anything, I learned that as much as I wanted to be like "pft, I don't care if they're indifferent" in return to the attitudes of some of the people closest to me, that didn't happen. Year of the X was a reminder to lean on others, not just when I didn't know how something worked, but also when I couldn't put things together emotionally.

I can't wait to share this with everyone.

Updated July 1st, 2013: It's here guys.

Labels: personal, year of the x