It’s been a lot since my birthday. Actually, the roller coaster started a few hours before July 8th, but since then everything’s been upside down. Just when I think that everything is going to finally balance out and slow down, boom, there goes my life again doing the most in true Cancer fashion. I lost my mind last month and landed myself in hold again, but I find my rebound has been pretty swift this time around. I guess I know myself better and I’m sure everyone that reached out made a real difference that I’ll never stop being appreciative for. I left the bank from stress, and while it was the hardest thing to walk in there and close the door, I’m glad I did. It was great while it lasted, and maybe down the line I’d reapply for some other position at the bank.
I’ve picked up another job at the yoga studio though as a paid position which is lovely, now I get paid to be where I willingly am during my down time anyways. When I first started out at enso (three years ago!!) I figured hot yoga would be a great way to regain my flexibility after a bunch of injuries. In three years my practice, well it's actually become a practice first of all, and has transcended the physical. While yes, I have made huge improvements in my physical flexibility, I never forget that my emotional and mental flexibility is what's most important. All the physical stuff, that will come later especially when I least expect it. I never thought I'd get so far in my split again, but in three years I've reworked my brain to encourage me to at least try. I'm doing the 30 Day Challenge and I'm excited to watch myself continue to grow and be inspired by all the amazing people at the studio. Also during the challenge I'm hoping to work on my own home practice and really start taking things seriously instead of doing just passive poses while watching Netflix and distracted basic flows on my mat. What better or more Leslie way to get organized than with a notebook and crafting? I got the two booklets shown above from the Mindfulness Edition of Flow Magazine, a magazine for "paper lovers" like myself. They're just simple on the inside with quotes and different styled sheets for writing, but that's probably because the point is to decorate it.
But to be real, this is where I want to be. I hit refresh while sifting through New York AirBnB listings; I’ve swallowed the prices and have let them settle in the back of my mind. I’ve done a lot of swallowing lately, and it’s eaten me up inside. frank and honest, but I still can’t find those three little words within me to make my fingers type them out and hold my breath when I hit send. I sleep the entire way, until that last bend before the Lincoln Tunnel from Jersey. Nostalgia is looking at the moon that bled a few weeks ago, thinking about how much has changed since I last saw it before disappearing into a train, praying it’s not all screwed up.
photo taken by the one and only ghost
